Crazy Cat Lady

Being a childless middle-aged woman can be a challenge at times. Especially when you are married and you're not childless by choice.

It's a daily struggle to ensure that you aren't becoming "that crazy woman". You know the one. She dresses her cats up in strange costumes. She buys baby dolls that look like real newborns. Maybe even carries them around in an infant carrier. (Yuck) When you are this woman, you see that EVERYONE is having children. Your friends, your friends friends, people on television, your pets, EVERYONE.

You want to be happy for these people. Really you do. You buy or make presents for the babies. You look at all the cute little outfits for infants and toddlers. All the while, you have this voice at the back of your mind.

That voice is an ugly mean little thing. It reminds you of all those things you can never have. Mother's day will never be for you. There will be no baby's first Christmas for you. No first steps, first hugs, first words. Friends will remind you that there will also be no first diaper, first scraped knee, first all nighters and first date.

Although not one of them has ever told me that they wouldn't do it again. They can't understand the way I feel. And that's okay. I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone. So I suck it up and carry on. I look at all the pretty little dresses and tiny little shoes and hats. I do for a moment consider how funny they would look on my cat. But I resist!

I may break occasionally. Get a little moody. Okay maybe a LOT moody. Maybe I'll start to ignore your excitement and comments about the baby. Understand this is only a defense. I'm not really an evil person. I'll get over it and move on again eventually, either that or you'll see me on an episode of CSI.

Died of old age and eaten by my cats.

They will have their revenge...