Crazy Cat Lady

Being a childless middle-aged woman can be a challenge at times. Especially when you are married and you're not childless by choice.

It's a daily struggle to ensure that you aren't becoming "that crazy woman". You know the one. She dresses her cats up in strange costumes. She buys baby dolls that look like real newborns. Maybe even carries them around in an infant carrier. (Yuck) When you are this woman, you see that EVERYONE is having children. Your friends, your friends friends, people on television, your pets, EVERYONE.

You want to be happy for these people. Really you do. You buy or make presents for the babies. You look at all the cute little outfits for infants and toddlers. All the while, you have this voice at the back of your mind.

That voice is an ugly mean little thing. It reminds you of all those things you can never have. Mother's day will never be for you. There will be no baby's first Christmas for you. No first steps, first hugs, first words. Friends will remind you that there will also be no first diaper, first scraped knee, first all nighters and first date.

Although not one of them has ever told me that they wouldn't do it again. They can't understand the way I feel. And that's okay. I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone. So I suck it up and carry on. I look at all the pretty little dresses and tiny little shoes and hats. I do for a moment consider how funny they would look on my cat. But I resist!

I may break occasionally. Get a little moody. Okay maybe a LOT moody. Maybe I'll start to ignore your excitement and comments about the baby. Understand this is only a defense. I'm not really an evil person. I'll get over it and move on again eventually, either that or you'll see me on an episode of CSI.

Died of old age and eaten by my cats.

They will have their revenge...

What's Old is New Again?

Lately all I've seen come to theaters are movies that were once Comic Books or a TV series. Don't get me wrong, the graphics and the maker of the movies are great. However, if you haven't kept up with the stories beforehand you are lost. It seems like the comic book geeks, and TV junkies are the only people who are able to fully understand these movies. For the majority of us who just don't know or who hadn't even been born when those came out (comic books, and TV shoes) probably need a history lesson. I just don't see the point. They should be able to make the whole movie of what was done before, or come up with a new story that we can still follow and be able to enjoy. That way people like us who are ignorant to the way of the comic book world don't have to miss out on entertainment. Even better would be if they just cut out the geeky stuff and put some real movies out there. I don't mean reality TV movies either. I'm puzzled; I think I just need some suggestions. What does everybody else think?

Tired of Fighting the Retail Crowds

Is anyone else tired of fighting those crowds at the local retail stores? I surely am, and not to mention, if you don't get to the store at the right time or early enough in the season, you're lucked out. I think it is absolutely appalling to go into the store and find that everything is rummaged through, not in the correct packaging, or flat already out of stock. If anyone else has the body that you just have to try the costume on and see what fits like myself, and most women I know, well good luck cause it's just not in the stores policy. I don't know why I hadn't been wise to the most simple and stress free solution that I've always had right at my fingertip.

Online shopping relieves any tension that you may have going into the retail stores to get your Halloween needs. It has changed my life and many others for the better. These days’ people can't afford the extra hardship with dealing with anything that is just not necessary. Just for example, here are some very good reasons for shopping online including what has been stated above:

• More of a variety to choose from.
• When you change your mind within a week of receiving your item, you are able to return and make a new purchase.
• No more picking through to find your correct size.
• Any embarrassment of buying a naughty costume for yourself.
• No more getting dressed, the kids dressed, or leaving your home.
• If it doesn't fit, return and get correct size.
• Available to order year round.
• While the children are asleep, you're at work, or from your phone, you can order your needs hassle free, and the feeling of satisfaction.

A Special Thank You to the Village

I’m sure you have heard the ole saying “It takes a village to raise a child”. This saying is what keeps running through my mind while I try to think about a person who has been a great influence on my life or think about an event that has had an impact on my educational decisions.
My life would be described by many as monotonous. I wake up, go to school, come home and go to sleep. I was born, went to school all of my life, and now I am ready to graduate. Nothing traumatic has happened in my life and nothing extra-ordinary. Now, I am trying to decide what my future holds.

A lot of my decisions thus far in life have been made by my mother. I couldn’t wait until I turned eighteen so I could make my own decisions; however, that day came less than a month ago, and I’m still uncertain about the many decisions that are thrown my way, daily. I’m sure many people would think that my mother has had the biggest impact on my life; however, I cannot find the words to put on paper to write about her.

I also looked to my older sister for guidance. As I watched her accomplish her goals and make her mistakes, I secretly followed (or avoided) her paths. Strangely enough, my sister and I are like daylight and dark. Quickly, I realized that the path my sister was taking led her to her happiness, but it wasn’t the future I wanted. I admire my sister because she is happily married, working full-time, and continuing her education at night, but I have no desire to travel down that road.

Thinking back throughout my educational career, many teachers have touched my life, some positively and some negatively; however, the end result was that it took the whole village to make me who I am today . . .

Today, I am an individual ready to go to college. I was taught to be creative, thoughtful, and independent. I was taught to use my gift of leadership and friendship, not just in the classroom but in my community also; and that I had athletic abilities that could help me in continuing my education. I was taught that I may have a chance in the medical field due to my interest in science classes; and that my peers and I have many different opinions and people are interested in hearing our voices.

My most memorable educational experience came from my theatre and drama class. I was offered drama classes in school from 3rd grade through graduation. I performed as a variety of different characters including: Snow White, The Velveteen Rabbit, Sandy from Grease, Barbie from A Redneck Wedding, Glinda in The Wizard of Oz, and the Wicked Stepmother in Cinderella. I loved the costumes and makeup, the hard work, and the applause. It is these memories and experiences that have dictated my decision to attend college in New York and pursue a career on Broadway.

In conclusion, I have had a wonderful educational experience. As I travel off to college, I vow to make my village proud! Again, it truly takes a village to raise a child.

Extreme to Mainstream

The illusion that tattoos and piercings and generally "odd" looks are mainstream. It seems that everyone you meet has a tattoo or piercing sometimes. The girl ringing up my groceries, the ladies at the hair salon, heck I even noticed my banker has a tattoo.

There was a time you really only expected to see these things on your mechanic or brick layer. Hard lived, blue collar kind of men. Thugs, gangsters and prisoners of course as well. Definitely never on a lady. Why going back a little, it was so unusual to see a tattooed lady that they were only employable as sideshow freaks.

No longer does the 13 year old say "But mom, Suzie has her ears pierced". Parents must now contend with "But mom, Suzie has her tongue/belly button pierced. Why can't I??" No matter how "mainstream" people argue that these looks have become, there are a few things I have NOT seen.

• I have NOT seen a tattoo, piercing or wild hair color on a doctor or nurse.
• I have NOT seen a tattoo, piercing or wild hair color on a newscaster.
• I have NOT seen a tattoo, piercing or wild hair color on a lawyer.

And I hope I never do.

I am just naive enough to believe that this is a good thing. I am not saying that it is wrong to have tattoos or piercings. I have some of my own. But have enough respect for your profession to keep them from being visible.

Please don't expect me to receive a diagnosis from a doctor with his name tattooed on his neck. I really hope that the world does not get to that point in my lifetime.

Get Your Sexy On

The Green Lantern has his power ring. Superman has his phone booth. I have a black lace bra. What makes you feel powerful?

It doesn't matter if you are a businesswoman or if you just want to boost your self confidence in the bedroom, the same rules apply. You have more influence when you feel good about yourself. In the business world, there is much discussion of the "power suit". The function of the power suit, is to serve as a modern-day suit of armor. Its purpose is to project unrelenting, untouchable power in the face of adversity without saying a word. Women in business also wear power suits, but they are, without exception, designed with the same lines, the same criteria of acceptability that govern the men's suits. Some women do feel comfortable dressed in the masculine style that disguises the female form and makes you "one of the guys" in the office. For many of us, though, this makes us feel like we have, once again, betrayed who we really are. It's time to bring sexy back. The question is, how to do this without losing our credibility as business women?

Dressing in a dramatic color, or in an outfit that plays to our feminine shape, will get you a "Don't worry your pretty little head about it" attitude from you male co-workers every time. So, we take a step back. We build our "new" power suit from the inside out. We start with undergarments that make us feel sexy. Sexy is confident. Sexy gives us power. Wearing something absolutely feminine and maybe a little naughty under our professional attire will not only make us more sure of ourselves, but will add an element of risk and daring to our everyday routine.

One of the keys to success in the workplace, is knowing something the other guy doesn't know. There is nothing quite as fulfilling as sitting across the conference table from a rival who can't figure out why you are so relaxed and confident. Little does the poor fool know, that you have prepared for this tournament. You have the impregnable armor of a slinky brocade push up bra and g-string, with a garter belt holding up the sexiest of thigh high stockings. You feel like you can conquer the world.

Does Talking Out Loud Help You Think?

Talking out loud takes courage. Weather you are an business mom our an executive of a company and every time you open your mouth you’ll feel like your putting your ego and reputation and ego on the line. Or if you are the executive you may be putting your there too.

tough. This is why executives make the big bucks (no matter how large or small you may think of them) The only way people know what you want and what you want the organization to achieve is to say it. We can say it over and over again till we bored our self to tears.

But if you’re an mom, or executive, the way kids will believe you mean what you say is if you keep saying it – and then ensure that your actions and your management group’s actions are all in alignment with those words.

So start talking out loud about what you think and you want. And then ask “How do we get there? What do you think? And listen hard to the answers.

Eventually, you’ll find that you have to do the least talking of anyone. Your vision for your organization will be achieved and exceeded everyday. Because you talked out loud and made it happen one word at a time.

Talking to yourself can be a habit for some people they can also use it to keep them selves organized, stay focused, and to remind themselves what to do next.

Others may talk out loud when they feel lonely. “ Often people will reflect with comments like “great Jog”, or “that was really stupid”.

And who doesn’t talk to the radio to the TV once in a while?

On the other hand talking to oneself can indeed be a manifestation of mental illness. Some people with psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia may lose touch with reality and experience auditory hallucinations of vices. They feel compelled to respond to “ their” voices and even carry on extensive conversations. It’s not unusual in downtown area of big cities to see homeless people, quite oblivious to their surroundings, conversing earnestly when no one else in nearby.

When people seem to carry a conversation these days with them selves these days, however, it most often means they have a Bluetooth earpiece and a cell phone. These one –sided conversations can be pretty annoying if you’re stuck in front of such a caller in a line for any length of time.

So .. there are plenty of situations when talking out loud to yourself or to no one in particular is perfectly appropriate and socially acceptable. But when we have to listen to lengthy one- sided conversations from a cell phone user, we call it “noise pollution”.

How to Fall in Love All Over Again

A NIGHT ON THE BEACH

Have you ever fell in love all over again with that same special person? A moment in time that reminds you why you do what you do everyday to keep your life going? My husband and I were getting comfortable in our normal routine, and with each passing day we spent less and less time together. I felt like we were more like roommates than anything. We didn’t fight, still cuddled together at night (almost as an obligation), and let each other know that we loved one another. This spell went on for about six to eight months. Most of the time in which we didn’t realize what we were putting our marriage through. My husband came up with the idea of taking a small vacation to get away from our busy lives and spend more time cherishing our precious time together.

What started out as a weekend get a way, wound up to a weekend trip to a resort on the beach. For the first day or so, we were so tired of our hectic life from back home, we kind of just relaxed in our own way. He slept in, and spent most of his time outside around the beach. I sunbathed the first part of the day, went to the spa, and came back for a nap. Since, we were so used to doing things apart, it was almost who we were becoming.

We both noticed that we were still spending so much time apart, and decided for the rest of the trip not to do anything apart. Yet at the same time not smother each other either. We ate dinner together that night, it was so quite, we didn’t have a word to say to each other. The next day we lounged around and tried to have a conversation, but it felt like we had become so different we couldn’t find anything in common interest to discuss. This became really irritating, the vacation we were trying to have to reconnect was falling through more and more by each passing day.

I wanted to do a little soul searching, so I just went out and walked the beach alone at night. I saw couples laughing, and having such a great time enjoying each others warm bodies. The next morning, I went to the local city shops, and bought some lingerie hoping this could put a spark in our damp days, not knowing if he would even turn an eye my way. I didn’t know that he was feeling even worse than I.

Before bed that night, I put on the sexy red and black lingerie that I had bought and crawled into bed. The man that I was married to didn’t even seem the bit excited. I was crushed. The next morning he woke before I did. He had breakfast waiting for me and a card expressing that he felt like we were drifting apart, and he wasn’t having that happen to us, and we didn’t deserve this type of punishment like it felt we were going through. I finished my breakfast, got shower and waited around for him to come back. It was already the afternoon and no sign of him returning, I was for sure that we had given up, as I was starting to. I heard a knock on our condo door, I opened the door and there he was with a boquette of flowers. He handed them to me and said “hello, I’m your husband, would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?” I was unsure what was going on, but I played along and said yes. He left, leaving me so confused, at the same time amazing with what mystery there was.

A bell hop brought me a note saying to be ready at 8 o’clock. I felt as I was dating again. My husband came to our room and got me right on time as the note had stated. I was unsure where we were going. We arrived at this beautiful restaurant that was completely empty. As we walked in this dim, aroma filled room, there sat a table with flowers and lit candles for two. We walk and sit down, there are what appears to be books on the table. I look at my husband with confused and amazed eyes, he got the hint. He opened the books, they were pictures and cards from us. As he flipped each page, my eyes started to water more and more. He said I want to be us again, I realized how much we were slipping, and missing out on. He asked me to dance, and all of a sudden soft romantic music started playing. He held his hand out as you see in the movies, and as we started to dance he held me so close. The butterflies started fluttering in my stomach and I felt more in love than I had when we first met.

That’s how you fall in love again. Being reminded of the life you have and not to stray too far away from it.

California Bound

I am really anticipating going to California for a week during Spring Break. My Father lives in Anaheim, and his invitation is thrilling. I am secretly nervous not knowing what kind of world is out of my Kentucky home. I wonder what type of people I will encounter on the streets. Will they be all dressed up in themed apparel, rugged tattered clothes, or even in a Hollywood Style. The possibilities are endless in my mind. I have never been on a plane before either, so I also wonder what the flight attendants are like, and if the peanuts are safe to eat. Not to mention, gosh forbid the plane were to malfunction.

My Father is a Stunt man, so I will get to go on set for movies. Maybe, I can meet someone famous, perhaps the Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's a long shot, but anything is bound to happen. Our next stop will be to Disney Land. I know it's typically for little children, but I believe I am as giddy to meet Mickey and all of his friends, as a 10 year old would be. As silly as it seems I want to go to the princess's castle as well.

I've never even been to the beach, or seen the ocean. I've heard it's phenomenal and you can see for miles, I'm looking forward to that, as well as the surfers and beach babes. Since the weather is so much nicer than our 4 seasons, I can finally wear my sexy sailor costume while I go out on the boat. Hopefully, people don't see me as another tourist and shun me, otherwise take me to paint the town for a night I'll never forget.

The Saturday before I leave to come back home to the bluegrass, we are attending a hot movie party. I have been debating on weather to bring a costume to dress up, or go casual. I could always get the experience of the fast life, and go shopping in the stores around the area. I usually do all of my shopping on line, but I believe that it will be a good time.

As my mind keeps wondering to all of the possible opportunities I may come across, I just get even more excited. I hope to gain respect for the faster life, and have lots of memories and stories to share.

Put on Your Happy Pants

Collecting things has always been a popular pastime. My own life has been cluttered with boxes of comic books, shelves of tiny china animals, rooms full of penguin figurines, and a small town worth of men. My sister, however, collected panties. Lace, silk, cotton, from giant granny pants to the whispiest bit of fluff, her dresser always had one drawer completely filled to overflowing with her collection.

She had some of the most unusual underwear. She had denim underwear, complete with pockets and belt loops. She had hand tatted lace underwear. It didn't look particularly comfortable, but it was lovely.

Her collection was divided into 3 categories. There were the sexy panties that were beautiful, or funny, but were not actually wearable. There were the set of panties that were perfect and comfortable. The third group were the well-worn panties. This is the group that tended to be faded, holey and/or stretched out. These were the comfortable, everyday panties.

When my sister was about 18, we discovered that you could tell her mood by which panties she chose for the day. What's more, we discovered that her mood changed according to what panties she chose. She tended to be more laid back, procrastinated more often, and was more often depressed, when she wore the old, holey underwear. However, when she wore her good undies, she tended to be cheerful and outgoing. Even when she became aware of it, herself, she knew that if she needed to get out of a bad mood, her good underwear was the first step. It might have been a psychological boost to her morale to know that "underneath it all" she was looking good. Whatever the reason, this pattern of behavior followed through to her married years, when, her husband would coax her to "put on her happy pants" if he found her to be down in the dumps.

According to Judie Taggart and Jackie Walker, authors of "I Don't Have A Thing To Wear: The Psychology of Your Closet", dressing is a form of expression, and therefore, what we wear, from the skin, outward, makes a statement about our past, how we see ourselves now, and what we want to become. They theorize that my sister's underwear drawer contains some painful memories, and that, when she wears those old panties that she associates, even on a subconscious level, with something unpleasant, affecting her mood. Similarly, some items in the drawer, remind her of her happy past, her cheerleading days, the days she felt she had reached the apex of her attractiveness. These panties could have either a bolstering effect on her mood, remembering her former successes, or, could cause her to reflect on how much she has changed from those days, which could bring her mood down. The "happy pants" drawer, however, says a great deal about who she wants to be or how she wants to be perceived. There are elements, in that drawer, of the Classic Beauty, the Vamp, and of the Artist. All of these have positive effects on the wearer's mood.

If we take the psychology of the underwear drawer a step further and examine our whole closet, we may learn a great deal about who we are, how we got this far, and where we are heading. What's more, we can learn to fill our underwear drawer, or our closet, with clothing that projects an image that we want to share with the world.

My only question now is: "What do my ruffly rhumba panties say about me?"

Our Hopes for Our Children

I often sit here wondering what my children are doing in school. Knowing that things are much different than when I was in school. Kids in middle school and high school have to deal with a lot more peer pressure now particularly with the temptation of drugs. Add in the fact that in many public schools, policemen watch over the kids and walk the halls. This puts even more stress on our kids in school. It is hard for kids to feel like kids.

When I was in school our mothers were stay at home moms. They didn't have to work. When we got home from school our mom’s would be home with us. We played outside and road our bikes. Nowadays the generation of both parents have to work. Things certainly have changed since I was in school. For example, today it's all about computers but when I was in school the best we had was typewriters. My kids do not even know what a typewriter looks like. I showed them a picture of a typewriter and they thought it was so weird!

Back in my day we were allowed to have parties and dress up in school for Halloween. It was it was so much fun! We dressed up as Minnie mouse, Holly Hobbie, Strawberry Shortcake and much more. The kids today are not allowed to have party’s in school or even call it a party because of the many different religions beliefs.

My hope for my daughter is that she will grow up and be a smart beautiful young lady! She has high expectation of herself as of right now. She wants to go to college to study to be a forensic investigator. She is only in the 8th grade now so this is likely to change.

My son is in the third grade and he is B to A student. He loves baseball and he is playing basketball for his first time and really loves it. He says he would like to become a veterinarian someday. He loves animals like he loves his mom.

I think I can speak for all parents that we all want the best for our kids when they grow up!

Costume Lamps

Okay, I know this sounds weird but it's not. In my daily roadtrip down the information highway, I came across a novel and fun idea that I think could be adapted to fit everyone's resources. If you have not yet seen them, look for lingerie lamps. Buy an inexpensive piece of lingerie, something pretty and semi-sheer, and turn it into a decorative lighting piece for the bedroom. It is accomplished rather simply. Buy an inexpensive woman's torso form. Ebay is full of them. Find a pretty piece of lingerie; a teddy or camisole would work wonderfully. Soak the lingerie in a stiffening solution. These are available at most fabric stores. Allow it to dry on the form, so that it retains the shape of the body. The lingerie then becomes your lamp shade! Add embellishments like fringe at the bottom, jewel accents, ribbons, etc. For a hanging lamp, suspend the lingerie from a decorative clothes hanger that you attach the lighting kit to. Voila! You have created a useful conversation piece for far less than you would pay for a boring, ready-made light!

It occurred to me that, if you can do this with lingerie with such delightful results, why not take that idea and use it with other pieces of clothing. Every year we buy our children Halloween costumes that they wear once. When we buy those costumes, we are already choosing something that our child is interested in. Why not use it in their room decor by making a lamp or sculpture out of it? I can see lovely little fairy or angel costumes as nightlights or even as hanging sculptures swaying ever so gently above a sleepy little girl. What about the boys? How much fun would it be to have a knight standing guard at the door of his room, or a ninja lamp to light the dark corners?

Some creative thinking on forms to use to shape the stiffening costumes might be in order, but in all, I think the effort will be well worth it. My thought is, we all have the costumes packed away somewhere, anyway. Why not pull one out and give it a try?

Plus Size Women and Retail Clothing

OK ladies. Consider this . . .

The USA is frequently commented on as being the "Fattest country in the world".

With over 70% of the population falling into the "overweight" category.

Why is it then that when you go into any large department retail store there are no "fat chick" clothes?

Why do I go to the mall and see 5-10 skinny stores and 1 plus size store?

Are retailers missing a huge market?

Do Retailers just like their fat chicks to be naked?

Fat girls have money to spend and need to wear clothes too.

We need work clothes, school clothes, play clothes, sexy costumes and practicle lingerie.

Just because we're fat does not mean that we can sew.

We want to look sexy for our husbands.

We don't want to wear the Cowardly Lion costume to the party!

We want the sexy Dorothy costume!

We want to turn heads with desire.

Let's face it we need a little more help to lure a man than those skinny girls do anyway. Give me the thunder thigh stockings and the big boob bustier too!

There was a time in our not too distant past when a girl needed a little chunk to be sexy. Words like curvy and voluptuous were bandied about (ala Marilyn Monroe!)

My point here is that if 70% of your customers are size C, why only design for size A and B?

There's less competition to get my $$$, give me some choice, give me some sexy.

Just don't give me attitude when I walk into the store..."Oh we don't have anything to fit YOU"

I am apparantly in the majority, so don't make me feel like I need to wear the Muu-Muu.

Have a sandwich, you'll be happier.

How to find Plus Sized Halloween Costumes to fit your Curves

Halloween is not only fun for kids; it has become an excuse for respectable adults to dress sexy and more provocative than would ever be acceptable on another day. This is especially true for those of us who are plus size women. As with all clothing, is difficult to find sexy Halloween costumes that flatter our curves. We all know that going to a retail store can be a painful and futile waste of time, so I have resorted to shopping online for all my cloths and lately my costumes as well.

Pictures are the first thing to look for when shopping online for a queen size costume. It’s very important that the website show plus size models pictured in their photos, in order for us to get a good idea of what we will actually look like. Many of the costumes actually look better on a thicker model, and I love it!

Fishnet tights are a great accessory for curvy women. They compliment almost any costume, and give a sliming and sexy look and feel. If you’re a queen size woman looking for a more classic look, go for a stocking and garter belt set. We all know thigh high stockings fall down a curvy leg, but Leg Avenue makes Queen Size thigh high stocking with a garter belt attached. You can keep the classic thigh high look and feel secure that your stockings won’t fall down on the dance floor.

For the plus size women who are well endowed I also recommend a bustier. A hook front bustier that is slightly padded with underwire cups also makes a great accessory for any costume. A bustier usually makes me feel more lifted, supported, and confident by accentuating my curves. As an added bonus, it’s a huge turn on during the private after party in the bedroom.

Be careful when choosing sizes though. Most plus size costumes tend to run small, even for skinny chicks, so make sure the website has a return policy in case it doesn’t fit. When in doubt, order a size larger than you usually wear. Halloween Costumes are made to fit a variety of sizes and often a few alterations will need to be made to make your sexy costume fit just right.

I hope all my voluptuous sisters will go all out to look and feel sexy this Halloween, I know I will.